MICHEL MARTIN, host:
I'm Michel Martin, and this TELL ME MORE from NPR News.
Just ahead, we celebrate what would have been Jimi Hendrix's 65th birthday by telling you something you may not know: how much he loved the blues.
But first, they say it takes a village to raise a child, but maybe you just need a few Mocha Moms. We visit with members of this mother support group each week for their common sense and savvy parenting advice.
Today, teens and driving. In the Washington, D.C. area, 10 teens have died on the roads in the past two weeks. Several others have been hospitalized due to auto accidents. All of the accidents this last couple of weeks involved different risky behaviors, such as driving at high speeds or failure to wear seatbelts. And according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, teen drivers have the highest crash-risk of any age group. The accidents have raised questions over how to get teens to observe safe behavior on the road. What can parents do?
For the answer to that and other questions, we turn to our Mocha Moms: Jolene Ivey, Davina McFarland and Cheli English-Figaro.
Welcome.
Ms. JOLENE IVEY (Founder, Mocha Moms): Hey, Michel.
Ms. DAVINA McFARLAND (Member, Mocha Moms): Hi.
Ms. CHELI ENGLISH-FIGARO (Co-Founder; President Emeritus, Mocha Moms): Hi.
MARTIN: And happy belated Thanksgiving to everybody.
Ms. ENGLISH-FIGARO: Thank you.
MARTIN: What a way to talk about this, on the holiday season, but I think it's reasonable because, you know, in holidays kids tend to be off school. They have more free time, want to see their friends. So I guess it is a timely topic. So, Jolene, one of your sons just got his driver's license. How did you prepare him for driving safely, and do you worry about him?
Ms. IVEY: Well, of course, I worry about him. I'm a mother. It's my job to worry. But as far as preparing him to drive, it's kind of strange. It took him forever to get his license. He had his learner's permit almost two years, and I wanted him to have his license because he's got four younger brothers, and I need help. I mean, I just need somebody to help me get the kids to swim team practice, soccer practice, whatever. So I really was looking forward to him having his license, even though, you know, you're also a little hesitant because of the safety issues. When he did finally get it, he discovered, oh, it's a wonderful thing to have freedom.
MARTIN: But what conversations did you have with him about safety, or did you feel that perhaps that was amply covered in driver's ed?
Ms. IVEY: No, we did talk to him. I mean, one thing is we've always worn our seatbelts. None of the kids, in my presence, has ever gone anywhere in a car without a seatbelt being on. But when he was home just this week and I - when he was going out, I did think about all those kids who've died lately, and it's so awful. And when he went out the door, I said don't forget to wear your seatbelt. And he said, mom, I always wear my seatbelt. And I'm thinking, yeah, that's what they all say.
MARTIN: Well, this raises a question. A report from Meharry Medical College shows that African-American male teenagers are fatally injured in car crashes at nearly twice the rate of white teenagers, because black teens are more likely to be in groups while in a car.
So, first of all, Cheli, what do you make of this?
Ms. ENGLISH-FIGARO: Well, you know, this subject hits pretty close to home because I have a very, very dear friend who lost her son when he was a freshman in college in an automobile accident. And it's very painful, still, and this is several years ago, but it's still very painful. We're very close to that family. And my son is 14. And what I've done is that I talk about my friend's son. He knows his brother. He knows the mother. And I even have the program from his funeral, and I say, look, Brandon, this is what happened to him. You need to be careful. He was with three other teens. They were freshmen. I don't know if they had their seatbelts on, but two died. And so it's very, very, very tough for me.
MARTIN: What do you think that's about, though? Because the report also said that perhaps there's less willingness to wear seatbelts, because it's not perceived as cool. I'm just wondering, what is it about that group dynamic that seems to make driving more dangerous - teenagers?
Ms. ENGLISH-FIGARO: Well, I think teens just feel that they're immortal and that nothing bad will ever happen to them. They get in the car and they figure nothing's going to happen. I don't need a seatbelt. They get in the car, and they just think I can live through anything.
MARTIN: Divina, what do you think?
Ms. McFARLAND: I agree. You know, when you are a teenager and you take driver's ed and you see that crazy movie "Faces of Death" - you know, my father is a funeral director, and when I was a child, we lived very close to the funeral home. And we saw tiny caskets with children in them, caskets with teenagers in them from motorcycle accidents, car accidents and all kinds of things like that. My brother and I did not grow up thinking that we were immortal. We knew people who died in car accidents. We saw the whole thing. It gave us a different kind of perspective.
MARTIN: Moms, I have to ask, though, are parents sometimes setting the best example for their kids? You know, we all see adults driving with cell phone in hand. In a lot of jurisdictions, that's against the law. People do it anyway. They got the latte going. You see people putting on makeup in the car. I don't want to just put it on women.
Ms. McFARLAND: No, you're right. No, you're right. People are multitasking to death - literally.
Ms. ENGLISH-FIGARO: Absolutely.
MARTIN: So do you guys make it your business to stay off the phone when you're in the car with your kids?
Ms. ENGLISH-FIGARO: I'll tell you what struck me. When my kids were little, they had this little mat and they played with cars on the mat. And they, you know, always mimic whatever they hear in the car. And they were playing on the mat and they were saying, you are an idiot. I can't believe this, and, you know, blowing their horn. And I drove that way. But when I heard that, that made me say, oh, my gosh. I am, right now, showing them how they will drive when they're 16. Oh, my God. I got really frightened.
And from then on, I'm like the granny driver with hands at two and ten. So hopefully, that past experience is not going to be what they remember, but they'll remember me now. Let's all cross our fingers and, you know, say a little prayer.
MARTIN: So it works - the influence works both ways.
Jolene, you're a state legislator as well as a mom, should we consider raising the driving age to 18?
Ms. IVEY: Well, there has been a movement to tighten up a lot of restrictions on young drivers. I think that there would not be the political will to change it to 18. There's too many people like me in the world who need their kids to help them in some way. So you probably would have a hard time getting it raised - at least in Maryland - to 18.
But we have had a lot of new restrictions put on young drivers. We have a graduated licensing process now. And a new driver has to - for the first five months cannot have other teenagers in the car unless they're directly related to them. And they also can't drive past midnight - between midnight and 5 a.m., I believe - for the first 18 months of their license.
MARTIN: Do you think that's having any effect?
Ms. IVEY: Well, I think that the important thing is parents have to make sure that the kids follow it.
MARTIN: What do you think it is about having other people in the car that makes it so much more dangerous for teenagers? Do you think that they're egging each other on? We should have your sons on here to talk about this. But do you think that kids are egging them on to be more reckless? Or do you think it's just distraction?
Ms. IVEY: No.
Ms. McFARLAND: It's distraction.
Ms. ENGLISH-FIGARO: It's distraction. Yes.
Ms. IVEY: I mean, if you think back when we all learned how to drive, I have had other kids in the car, and I don't remember anyone ever encouraging me to do anything unsafe. But they're busy talking to you and they're - you're talking about the party you're going to, or you're looking out the window, pointing at something. Your brain's not functioning. It's not working to keep you on the road. It's keeping you in the conversation with the people around you.
MARTIN: Davina, a final thought. You're our tough-love gal, here.
(Soundbite of laughter)
MARTIN: Although you all trade - you know, traded that title, but you're kind of, generally, our tough-love gal. But your kids are really too young to face this so far. They're not within driving age.
Ms. McFARLAND: Well, I have a nephew. My nephew who lives with us, remember, he's 15.
MARTIN: Mm-hmm.
Ms. McFARLAND: Honestly, I'm not ready. I think, bottomline, is it comes down to parenting. You can raise the age to 21. And if you're not a responsible parent, you're not going to be raising a responsible teenage driver. That's the bottom line. You've got to communicate with your child. You've got to let him know, you know, how important it is that they're not invincible. And, you know, you have to be aware of the laws, whatever they may be. And you have to be willing, in your home, to enforce them.
MARTIN: All right. The Mocha Moms - Jolene Ivey, Davina McFarland and Cheli English-Figaro - joined us, as always, in our Washington studios. You can find links to the Mocha Moms at our Web site: npr.org/tellmemore.
Moms, thank you.
Ms. IVEY: Thanks, Michel.
Ms. McFARLAND: Thanks, Michel.
Ms. ENGLISH-FIGARO: Thanks, Michel.
MARTIN: And we want to tell you about two issues we plan to address in the coming week, so you can join the conversation.
First: We had such a strong response to our conversation with Dr. Rhonda Hearns-Stokes that we're going bring her back. So if you have questions about fertility, send them our way. Whether you're a man or a woman, we're interested in whatever questions you may have - or comments.
We also want to talk about ghost parenting. Now, you might have another name for it, but we're calling it that. Let's say you're a sibling or a grandparent or a neighbor and you're very involved with raising a child. What lines do you cross or not cross? And if you're a parent, what boundaries do you want to see observed?
Let us know. Send us an e-mail at npr.org/tellmemore. Put on the subject line Mocha Moms. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.