Spacing Out A Bit: Chicago And The Shuttle

NPR | By Dennis O'Toole

Published August 24, 2010 at 11:57 AM EDT

As a boy, Dennis O'Toole wanted to be an astronaut -- but then he found out about all those science classes. So instead, he became a writer and improv performer. With the Adler Planetarium of Chicago in the race to acquire the space shuttle Atlantis, he might get a second chance.

Chicagoans need an ego boost. Hardly a day goes by without one of us saying, "You know what would really perk things up around here? OV-104."

That's right. Your average Chicagoan is such a hardcore NASA fan that she refers to the shuttle Atlantis by its orbiter vehicle designation. OV-104 is our top pick, thanks to the time it deployed the Compton Gamma Ray Observatory in 1991. But, we'd also take OV-105 or 101, in that order. (For those of you who aren't from Chicago, that would be shuttles Endeavour and Enterprise.)

Orbital space flight is pretty much all we talk about here in the Windy City. It beats talking about the weather, crime, and corruption. I mean, boy do we have a lot of crime and corruption! It's gotten so bad that ...

Oh, wait. Maybe I should not mention that in my pitch.

No, what I mean to say is: The Second City is really the First City when it comes to NASA enthusiasm. Mae Jemison, the first African-American woman to go into space, grew up right here in Chicago, as did Eugene Cernan and John Grunsfeld. Those three 'Chicagonauts' can hardly walk down Michigan Avenue without an adoring crowd lifting them to the heavens.

You know how most businesses have Casual Fridays? Well, in Chicago we call it Space Suit Fridays. Forget nerdy Star Trek sweaters and dorky Boba Fett helmets. I mean completely authentic Mark III H-1's with single-axis rolling convolute waist joints, and vintage Skylab A7L's with micrometeroid cover layers. Right now I'm wearing my Enhanced Extravehicular Mobility Unit, made by the good people at the International Latex Corp. I have three. I chose the white one today, since it brings out the blue in my eyes.

Why does Chicago need a space shuttle? Because most of our streets are full of potholes, and most of our politicians are under indictment. It would make us feel good about ourselves for a change. Next time one of our governors gets indicted, (lets face it, it's only a matter of time), well be able to say, "Well, at least we have a space shuttle."

You say you want $28.8 million for one? Make it an even $29, and don't worry where it came from. It's green, isn't it? I'm just gonna set this envelope down and leave the room. If it's gone when I get back, then I know we have a deal.