Barbara Rushinski received a bear made of her partner’s pajamas after he passed in hospice care at Allied Services.
She was so moved, she put her sewing skills to good use and joined the team of volunteers making the bears for grieving families in Northeast Pennsylvania.
“I look at my bear many times, and I'll either laugh or something all these years later and say, ‘Yeah, I remember that time,’ or something comes back that reminds me of my Daniel. I figured [for] somebody else’s children [or] grandchildren, it would give them maybe a little something extra. And when they look at their bear, they will remember their loved ones,” Rushinski said.
Allied offers its memory bears to grieving families whose loved ones died in hospice.
Offering comfort during times of grief
Joyce Wizda started the program at Allied more than six years ago when she joined the healthcare system as a social worker.
“It's just nice to be able to add a little something special to that grief, and also for our hospice to stand out, to have something a little special as well. It makes people happy, helps their grief, and it makes us feel good too, that we can do that for them,” Wizda said.
She estimates the volunteers make about 150 bears a year. There’s a limit of four bears per family. Wizda encourages families to send in clothing items from their loved one’s closet to ease their grieving journey.
“After losing their loved one, something like the memory barrier is just such a nice tribute to the person they lost, and a nice memory to hang on to,” she said.
‘It just reminded me of my dad’
Patrice Powell works in palliative care at Allied. The volunteers made her three bears when her father passed earlier this year.
“When they brought the bears to me, I remember going to my office and just sitting there looking at them and remembering my dad wearing those shirts. I actually hugged one of the bears. And in the moment, it just reminded me of my dad, and it was like I was getting a hug from him,” Powell said.
She hopes the bears will help her family members, too.
“I do have two family members that are grieving really, really hard, what my dad's lost, and for Christmas, I'm going to give them one of the bears,” Powell said.
She encourages other patients’ families to take advantage of the program.
“To any of our patients that are on services with us, it is a wonderful thing, even if it's not for the adult, but it to be passed down to a group. Grandchild or someone that may not have as many memories as an adult, would, it would be a great thing,” Powell said.
Allied’s volunteer coordinator, Laurie Fleming's father-in-law, got a bear made when his wife passed.
“My father-in-law keeps it on his bed every day when he makes it, and he tells everybody, ‘This is Gail.’ It's just a way to help through that grieving process and her and a remembrance,” Fleming said.
Fleming knows how important the program is to families.
“It's very meaningful to our patients,” she said. “People go back to their house, and there's that closet with all these clothes. What do you do with them? At least you can pull the favorite or what they wore all the time, or some family members will even take the last piece of clothing that they wore and and they don't wash it because that still has their scent on it, perfume, cologne. We will make a bear out of that. It's just that connection, that warmth.”
Allied welcomes sewers to make memory bears
About five volunteers sew for the program. They sew at their own pace. Fleming tells families to be prepared for an up to two-month wait for the bears.
“That's our challenge right now, is that we have so many who want it, but the wait again is at least two months because I don't have enough volunteers,” she said.
Allied provides volunteers with all the necessary materials such as patterns, stuffing, noses, eyes and the clothing items from families.
Rushinski said she typically takes two weeks to sew four bears for one family. After turning her completed bears in, she usually starts immediately on a new set. She wants other people to volunteer if they can sew to make turnaround times quicker for families.
“They have that many people wanting these bears, and it's just a little something for the families,” Rushinski said. “So if they have the time, they should give it a try, and maybe they'll be there five years from now.”
Wizda said it’s a great way to engage with the community and help others.
“To volunteer to do the memory bears is just very fulfilling for the sewers,” she said. They're so happy that they can make someone else happy. It's a good feeling, a nice, warm feeling inside to bring a little bit of peace to people who are grieving.”
Fleming welcomes anyone who can sew to volunteer for the program. Those interested can reach her at Lflemi@allied-services.org.
“The more the merrier,” she said of the program’s need for volunteers.
